Sometimes it just hurts

Pain isn't always physical. When hurt is emotional, it can be worse than any physical pain experienced. Emotional pain digs into the heart and your mind. And it seems to come like a monsoon - when it hits, it hits hard. Sometimes memories inflict it. Sometimes the pain is inflicted by someone close to me. When it hits all at once, it just hurts.
Memories are good though they hurt for a while. The memories sometimes flood, sometimes trickle. I don't want to lose the memories. Pain inflicted by someone close to me can be tough. It is looked at, then I get angry, then I hurt more, then I learn.

I did it again

On June 11, 2006 I completed a half marathon in Kona. Though I've already done a full and began the seaon in the best shape I'd been in for a long time, this run was a hard one. In the middle of the season, my brother passed away due to a heart attack. That hit me hard. I lost interest in alot of things and even my training lasped. The reason I continued though was him. I continued and finished the season with Nichelle. During the race Nichelle and I kept a good pace starting running 4 min, walking 2 min. Then after the turnaround we changed it to running 2, walking 4. At one point between 3 and 4 miles out I was ahead of Nichelle when the 2 min run timer went off. Nichelle yelled "It's 2 min if you care!" I responded "Not really!" The last two miles of the race were the toughest as I remembered my brother. The memories were triggered by a beautiful iron gate depicting a sea turtle. Running with a team was a great help for me on this one. I had Nichelle with me throughout. As I came into sight of the last stretch, I see my friend and teammate Michael. He grabbed my hand and ran with me reminding me of the support I have on and off the course. Renee was waiting at the corner to run with me to the finish line. My mother and aunt were at the finish line. I finished with a new personal record of 3:01:40.

I ran this marathon in Paul's memory. He was planning to come to Hawaii to see me. I know he was watching.