Self Knowledge

"Can one know one's self? Is one ever somebody? I don't know anything about it anymore. It now seems to me the one changes from day to day and that every few years one becomes a new being." George Sand

We grow every day. If we don't, we become stale. Each time we grow we change, sometimes a little, sometimes alot. We work to go forward in our growth and not have to relearn a lesson. Becoming a new being every few years is a good thing. We take the things we've learned, the steps forward, sometimes the steps backward and start a new chapter.

Thoughts....

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But worse than bones are broken
By the inescapable stones
Of fond words left unspoken.

Unknown

I miss my friend

Disappearing doesn't always mean completely. That's the extreme. Disappearing also means pulling back and not being there.

I disappeared once. The man I was with was jealous/insecure of my relationships with my friends. He put rules on the table and I made the choice to follow them. One of the worst choices I've made in my life. I was in denial. Because I sent cards, took their phone calls and was almost normal when he wasn't there, I didn't disappear. But I did as I pushed them away as far as they allowed me. I lost many quality years with my friends.

I apologize to those friends - and you know who you are. I'm happy you were there when I figured it out. Now I understand how YOU felt for those years. I understand the hurt of a close friend pulling away. I understand because I am experiencing it now.

I miss my friend.