I miss my friend

Disappearing doesn't always mean completely. That's the extreme. Disappearing also means pulling back and not being there.

I disappeared once. The man I was with was jealous/insecure of my relationships with my friends. He put rules on the table and I made the choice to follow them. One of the worst choices I've made in my life. I was in denial. Because I sent cards, took their phone calls and was almost normal when he wasn't there, I didn't disappear. But I did as I pushed them away as far as they allowed me. I lost many quality years with my friends.

I apologize to those friends - and you know who you are. I'm happy you were there when I figured it out. Now I understand how YOU felt for those years. I understand the hurt of a close friend pulling away. I understand because I am experiencing it now.

I miss my friend.