People are naturally curious. The first question when bad news is given is "what happened?" There are times this is the last question wanted to be heard.
When we lose someone in our life - whether to the hand of God, at the hand of someone else or to his/her own hand - we have to deal with the result - a missing part of our life. We don't want to live the events over and over. We want to deal with our emotions, our loss, our memories. The friends and family around us mean well when they ask questions. Rather than asking "what happened" we'd rather be asked "do you remember.......?"
Relive the good memories, not the event.
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3 comments:
I also lost my brother this year. He committed suicide in January and I often meet people who inevitably ask, "Do you have brothers and sisters?" I always yes. And then I say, out of habit, "I have a brother and a sister." So it comes out that my brother is no longer alive and it's always a constant reliving of it. It's hard and I don't know if it will ever get any easier.
I just say I have a sister.
Sadly I either have to say no siblings or explain what happened to my brother. Though it was natural causes, it was such a shock and so out of the blue, it's still painful reliving it all. Luckily I have a wonderful friend who was (and is) there for me as I am for him.
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