Things about me

Lukky did this in her blog eons ago and I am finally sitting down and thinking about my answers....

FOUR NAMES YOU GO BY:
- Karen
- Sarge
- Kare
- Hey you

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- My hair
- My eyes
- Being able to get out of bed in the morning

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- My smile
- My waist
- My feet

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- Acceptance of diverstiy
- A passion for travel
- Integrity

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
- Public speaking
- Unstable heights
- Poisonous things

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
- Laughter
- Music
- Friends

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
- Jeans
- Boots
- Soft shirt that makes people want to purr

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
- Honesty
- Caring
- Fun

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
- I know I can complete a marathon
- I enjoy my job
- Being with my friends makes me happy

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
- Eyes
- Laughter
- Smile

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- Sleep
- Visit my out of state friends
- Go to either the mountains or a beach

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
- Internment at Amex (oh yeah, that's what I'm doing :))
- Working with animals
- ?? don't know...if I did I wouldn't be in corporate still

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- Iceland
- Europe
- Tahiti

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
- haven't really thought about it
- TBD
- TBD

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
- Be happy
- Travel more
- Learn my guitar

Merry Christmas

Beautiful sunny morning. Patio time with the kitties and puppy. Kahlua in my coffee. Relaxation before the family festiviies.

Merry Christmas to all :)

Marathon Thoughts

During the Honolulu Marathon there were no international boundaries. Runners from the US, Japan, Denmark, Italy, Africa, Russia and more ran together, cheered together and smiled together. Coaches and supporters from all teams lined the route. Residents hung out to watch some offering pretzels or fruit and others spraying hoses to cool off the runners. You would hear team members greet each other as the caught up and/or passed. Coaches would run/walk with their teams for a bit then back to their posts for the next team members to pass. A Team in Training coach ran through the runners giving high fives and support to all of us. Our own TTES coaches were loud and clear at their posts.

Runners helped other runners. A Team Phoenix member was hurting and alone but determined to finish. A group from Team in Training caught up with her then stayed with her and helped her finish. A picture in the local paper shows 2 runners supporting a third so he could finish. The goal was to finish and helping others meet that goal overrode personal time goals.

The experience was incredible. The training, the team, the coaches all created good memories leading to the event. The energy going through the group at the start, motivation received when you hear your name being called out, the cheering along the route and views of Oahu are memories I’ll carry with me. The feeling of accomplishment gained crossing that finish line will never leave.

Many Thanks to all who supported me with good thoughts and/or donations. Special Thanks to my good friend Kurt for supporting me from the start -- he listened to all my whining, all my accomplishments, helped me through my injuries and never let me slack off.

A weekend in Hawaii for a quick run

After a 5 ½ hour flight, Team Phoenix arrived at Honolulu. During the landing announcements, the flight attendant recognized all teams on the plane. We, of course, were the loudest. We stayed at the Outrigger Waikiki on the Beach and several of us spent the first evening at Duke’s Canoe Club having a drink and enjoying the beachside view. Ahhh….the beach. I had to walk along it before crashing for the night.

Saturday 7a while the team had a quick 20 minute practice, Coach Josh opened his ‘sidewalk café’ and made a pancake breakfast. It seems some tourists thought he was really selling them and started to line up! After breakfast, Rhonda and I went parasailing. The coaches told us to stay off our feet – so we did, just 100 or so feet in the air :D Neither of us had ever gone before and we both can’t wait to go again! It was wonderful – peaceful and beautiful. That night was the TTES pasta party. There were 7 teams for the marathon – Phoenix, Denver, Boston, Seattle and 3 California teams. Awards were given for top fundraising and the “Lifestyle Change Award.” I am honored to say I took away the Lifestyle Change Award for Phoenix. This award is given by the coaches for really embracing the program and changing my life for the better. Lights out at 8pm this night.

Sunday 2:15a (yes, that’s AM) I head to the coaches room after being greeted by my now decorated door. We put on our TTES tattoos, wrote our names on our arms, and checked to ensure our bib numbers, timing chips and name tags were on correctly. As a team we walked to the starting area, warmed up then merged into the masses to wait for the start. There were 24,643 runners waiting for the start. The energy was great! I couldn’t believe the number of people in costume, carrying cell phones and cameras, etc. At 5a the fireworks went off and the race was on. Our official time is recorded as we cross the actual start line and the timing chip registers. Starting before sunrise was great – the Christmas lights were on downtown making it festive. We passed several Santas along the route – some leaving the bars! Rhonda and I stuck together. We decided ‘woo-hoo!’ was universal and kept people around us smiling. Another TTES member said we were the loudest people on the course. Thanks! We passed a TTES support group in Waikiki – their cheering was invigorating.
Diamond Head Road was our only hill – twice, once out and once back. We saw the leaders already on their last leg as we made our way up the first time. At the top we were greeted by a sign “Coast Guard Salutes the Marathoners.” On our left was Diamond Head and on the right incredible views out over the ocean. I wished several times during the route I had a camera with me. Coming down Diamond Head my knee started to complain and I dropped back to a speed walk keeping on target. Between mile 13 & 14 Rhonda’s knee didn’t want to play either. We alleviated these issues by stuffing the ice cold sponges handed out in our knee braces. Instant ice packs! We saw Coach Eric at mile 14 and again at 19. Coach Josh cheered us at mile 11 and walked with us at mile 22.
As we headed back up Diamond Head we stirred up the runners by shouting “Come on everyone, it’s just a little hill!” We found Jamin between mile 24 & 25 and he walked with us till the 1k marker. Turning down the last 1k was exciting as finishers and spectators cheered us on. With the finish line in sight, we picked up to a jog. I moved into a sprint for the last few hundred feet having a strong finish of 7:23:26.
We made our way to get our t-shirts and medals then to the TTES tent to sign out. After some peanut butter sandwiches, ice baths and showers, the teams headed to the victory celebration. Believe it or not most of us got up and danced! A few of us left early and headed to back to the hotel for drinks at Duke’s. Before crashing I once again walked the beach then sat, listened to the waves and enjoyed my accomplishment.

Monday I headed to Pearl Harbor – had to get some tourist stuff done before I left. The USS Arizona memorial is moving. There are ‘teardrops’ at the site – the ship is still leaking oil. I saw an oil bubble come to the surface and it does look like a black tear. The sight gave me chills. I also toured the USS Missouri. It was a great tour – all 1.5 miles of it – complete with stairs/ladders. I was moving slowly, as was another marathoner on the tour. After the tours Rhonda and I headed out to get our Finisher Certificates. We’d like to say we took our time taking pictures, shopping and enjoying the scenery however a round trip walk of barely a mile took us 3 hours. Sore muscles and knees were the main contributors to our time. Eh, we were on island time :D Back at the hotel we sat on the beach watching the sunset and waiting for the airport shuttle. A red-eye flight direct back to Phoenix allowed for a few hours sleep.

I am a Marathoner!

I did it!! I am now officially a marathoner :) This pic was taken shortly after we (Rhonda is on the left) crossed the finish line. Offical results - 7 hr 23 min 26 sec

Race Results for 2005 Honolulu Marathon Runners
Gun Time is the clock time based on a 5 AM start. Finish Time is based on the time the runner crossed the start line.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Karen Sargent #9587
of Phoenix AZ USA
American Stroke Phoenix
10K: 01:37:35
Half Marathon: 03:19:42
30K: 05:02:51
Gun Time: 07:42:11
Finish Time: 07:23:26
Place Overall: 20688
Place Women: 9154
Place Women 35-39: 1177


More blog to come...

I'm leavin' on a jet plane.....

But I know when I'll be back again :) This is it. I leave tomorrow morning. Sunday is the day. Marathon starts at 5am. Good thing I'm a morning person. The goal I wrote on my registration is 7 hours. I think I can do it in 6.5 hours.

I am a marathoner.

Tonight's Thought

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. ~Janis Joplin

One week left!

Next Sunday at this time I will be celebrating finishing my first full marathon :) I may be limping and still wearing my knee brace, however it will be a good pain. I am getting nervous & excited now.

The weekend after the marathon I'm sitting in Florida on my Dad's houseboat and drinking beer :D

Three Weeks Left

My marathon is on Dec 11. That's 3 weeks from now. I'm not sure if the weeks will fly by or be really long.

Saturday's practice was really long. It was a 20 mile day. I'm still in shock that I continously ran/walked 20 miles. If I had done one more loop that day, it would've been the full marathon distance. I was hurting though. My knee - which I did have looked at - was screaming at me by the end of practice. And it wasn't saying very nice things either :-| However, I finished. There were a few low points and I'm glad I had team mates finishing with me. Coach Josh met us at the last 2-ish mile mark and 'escorted' us to the end on his bike. No one talked much but the moral support does a world of difference.

Practices are tough on the long stretches. The marathon will be different. There will be people every mile or two either simply cheering us on or at aid stations with water. That doesn't sound like much until you've been out there for hours with no one around. Having spectators, coaches, mentors and volunteers cheering on the sidelines gives you energy.

Wow. Three weeks.............

...I keep on going

(see post below for the beginning of this one)

I ran my race yesterday. The knee wasn't happy after the first mile but I worked with it. Official results: 1:20:02 - a personal best :) (Race Results) Not bad considering I started training in August of this year.

The race was fun. There were several thousand runners for the 10k. The most unusual thing of the day was the man running in a very blond curly wig complete with headband of some sort, carrying a wand or septre and wearing nothing else except a black thong. Eeeekk! Glad we only saw him from behind.

The knee is still not happy with me. Four more weeks for it to hold out until my marathon. Back to my ice pack.......

When your body says stop.....

In 3 hours I'm to run in the Phoenix New Times 10k. I've been looking forward to this since the half marathon 2 weeks ago. My knee however are not so happy with me. Since the Saturday I was pulled from practice, my knee has not been cooperating with me. I am going this morning armed with my knee band. Let's hope it makes a difference.

Bitter or Learned from Experience?

During a discussion with a friend last night, he said I'm bitter - particularly about dating/relationships. Earlier he said I was too negative. So, I started thinking...am I?

I know there are times I sound negative, and when talking about my own relationships, that's just part of the defense I created for myself. Sure, I've had my share of shitty ones and my share of rejection. I was very bitter for a while. You know what, I'm not 100% 'cured' however I've realized there are times he is just not that in to me. I'm learning to recognize the signs. It goes both ways -- sometimes she's just not that into him.

I've decided I'm not bitter. Well, not all the time. Know what I am bitter about? I'm bitter when a guy is interested in me just for sex. However, it doesn't last long, it's not worth my energy anymore.

This all started when asked for my thoughts. I look back on the advice my closest friends tried to give me. Sometimes they were right on, sometimes they weren't. I sometimes listened, I sometimes didn't. I'd get annoyed at times. I know now they just were giving their 2 cents and being there for me. And I'm glad -- I learned alot from them even if it wasn't at that moment.

Five weeks till my marathon!

Wow. Only 5 weeks of training left. I've come a long way since Aug 6. I can actually run 3 miles straight; each week I'm able to push myself a little more; I can walk up the stairs without huffing & puffing!; the clothes are fitting better. It's been good - a few rough days but good :)

Last Saturday's practice was to be 18 miles. Coach Eric pulled me after 12 because my knee hurt and I wasn't hiding it well. Plus Laurie ratted me out...it was a good thing she did. I'm to the point now where I was bummed I couldn't finish the run. I'm supposed to take it easy this week so I can do the 20 mile run on the 19th.

This weekend I'm in the New Times 10k. A 10k is 6.2 miles - doesn't seem like much after our training sessions and the YMCA Half. It will be fun though to participate in a bigger race (this one attracts several thousand). Plus the coaches have told us to push ourselves a little more for the 6.2 and see what we can do. It's going to be interesting......

YMCA Half Marathon

I did it! My first offical half marathon (13.1 miles) completed in 3:09:31 (offical time posting can be seen here Race Results). The max time to finish was 3:15:00 and I figured I could do 3:12:00. When I came in sight of the finish line clock and it was at 3:08:25 I couldn't believe it. I was already jogging so I turned up the speed and sprinted over the line to cheers from members of Team Phoenix. It was an incredible feeling. :D

PS Team Phoenix is my Train to End Stroke team. Several members participated for the marathon experience.

Marathons & Moving

Today’s practice was 16 miles. Besides the 16 miles, another milestone was achieved today – I ran 3 miles straight! That is a first for me. I kept a slow steady jog and got to the first turnaround :) I completed the full distance in 4 hrs 10 min – only 10 min off my goal which was pretty good considering the blister that formed on my toe, sore ankles and knees. Yes, I have new shoes ready to go for next week.
Even with my soreness, I feel good about today’s practice. I didn’t feel like I was going to die along the trail as I did last week. Today much of my run was alone – I turned up my music (yay iPod!!) and moved along. Last week had I been by myself, I would’ve been in tears and quit. :( It was a bad week physically and mentally. Several miles I wondered what the hell I was doing out there. That attitude changed today – back to good. Today I felt good the whole time and could honestly tell Coach Eric and Coach Josh I had a good practice.
I do know, I will complete my full marathon in December and check that accomplishment of my “What I never thought I’d do in my lifetime” list. I might consider half marathons later, but most likely stick to 5k and 10k.

Moving. Here I am with my sore legs taking apart furniture (with the help of my friend Kurt), trying to pack the last of the boxes, break down the computer (right after I do this), gather all the cords for the TV, etc that are not attached and make some sense out of the boxes and furniture strewn around my house. Believe it or not I ended up with more boxes than I needed! That’s a first for me. And thanks to Kurt, Beryl, Linda, Mom, D’Ann, Donna, Deana, Jen and Sharon I didn’t have to buy a single box or newspaper for materials :)
The new house is all ready – the painter finished in 3 days, carpet was done in a day and the cleaners came today. The new house looks wonderful!! By the way -- if anyone needs painters, flooring or cleaning done, I have numbers of very good people. Tonight I will take over the case of beer Cindy sent me from PA – Yuengling! – and place it in the fridge to be nice and cold for tomorrow :) Movers come in the morning – I’ll be unpacking all day and Monday and Tuesday……..

Another revelation...

My latest theory on relationships (expanding on revelation #3 below) -- I'm going to stop looking. Let him find me. For all I know he's right in front of me and we're not seeing each other because I keep looking around. I'll keep having fun, meeting new people. Think about it -- if you're lost in the desert or forest, survival books tell you to stay where you are because if you're trying to find your way out and the search party is trying to find you, you stay lost. Stay put and they will find you. So, here I am. He can find me.

So I can finally answer the question.....

...at least according to this test (got the idea from Zee). It would be interesting to take the quiz with more detailed questions.

You are a Social Liberal (63% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (33% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Marathon Training & the Revelations During

Today was a great training day. First I shaved off another minute on my timed mile! I timed at 12:12 -- last month was 13:15 and the first month was 14:07!!! Training was 12 miles. Two months ago I didn't dream I could last 12 miles. Not only did I last but I felt great! Last week's 11 miles I was exhausted. This week I approached it differently mentally, splurged on an iPod, and had a fuel belt. Those were the 3 key things that got me through practice.

The iPod kept the voices in my head at bay. Only the good ones came through. I had some revelations today:
#1 I like this working out stuff. I actually like the running too (ok, I'm still at a run/walk, but that's OK). I don't know at this point if I'll ever do a full marathon again, however I do enjoy the 3 - 6 mile deal. My goal is to keep in shape after this - I may mentor the next season to help with that part - and participate in some 5k or 10k for good causes (MS, Alzheimer, etc). Don't worry - I'm not turning fanatical or anything. I'll look for 5k/10k that are benefits - I'm not concerened with "1st place."

#2 Life is good. I have great friends to hang with and have fun. I am blessed to say I have 4 really close friends. My family loves me - though we're all a bit strange :) My pets adore me even though I'm very busy lately. I'm healthy and getting healthier. I was able to buy a townhouse. I have a job that pays the bills and once in a while I actually like it.

#3 I'm single and having fun. I started out joining the internet dating scene and realized, it's just not me. I've cancelled all those memberships and am just concentrating on having fun. My friend said in a recent blog "It's Time!" and well, he's right [there are times I have to admit he's right :p]. Time to just have fun, enjoy life and not worry about being with someone. Yes, I miss the romance and closeness of a relationship, however I'm not going to date just because. If that special guy and I find each other, awesome! If not, at least I can say I enjoyed life.

#4 I'm ok with me. Yes, I'd like to lose a few pounds and I'm sure this marathon thing will help. However, I'm OK with how I look now. Why did that cross my mind today? Because although I now feel great, I haven't lost any weight yet! And you know what? That's OK. I look good - plenty of people have told me that. This is who I am on the outside and on the inside. Like me or move on! :)

PS -- still fundraising for the American Stroke Association too! Here's my site:
Karen's ASA Site

There are Good People out there..

Today is Wednesday. Really it is - I've checked twice because it seems like a Monday! Starts out innocent enough....head to work at my other office only to find out my laptop is at my regular office! Doh! OK, go to regular office to get laptop then to new townhouse for final walkthrough (yay!). Walkthrough went ok - did find one thing both my realtor and I missed to have them fix. Oh well. Leave walkthrough -- car is starting really really rough. Hmm...battery must be changed today. (sidebar: have new battery, friend is going to install, we just haven't done it yet)

Heading back to other office thinking, wow I may actually make the meeting with my SVP. Stop for gas. Battery died!!!! Now, I have a battery however no tools to change it with. A person at the checkout offered to jump my battery. Seems simple right. Not with me...when my battery goes, it goes. Done. Kaput. Fuhgetaboutit. While I started calling AAA for a tow to somewhere with tools, he came back smiling -- he had tools with him! This fine gentleman changed my battery for me in the QT parking lot. :) woo-hoo! no waiting for a tow truck. He was very nice (wouldn't take the $ I offered for his time), his name is John and he does A/C work. I have his number if anyone needs A/C work in the Phoenix area, let me know.

It's nice to know there are good people out there still who will take a few minutes out of their day to help someone else.

The things you find....

Tonight I found two pieces of folded up paper I obviously carried around for a long time. I haven't seen these papers for many many years. I remember when I carefully typed these two pieces of paper to ensure they wouldn't be too big. I wanted to fold them up and keep them in my wallet. And I did for many years. These two pieces of paper are two songs. Songs most people haven't heard unless they have the albums: Billy Joel's "Tomorrow is Today" and George Harrison's "Just for Today." These songs were played over and over at cross road in my life. Funny how I found them again tonight.

Thought for the Day

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.
Anonymous

Gotta Chill

I feel too much. Most people will say they don't have enough feelings. I also think too much. In my mind, I can turn a simple oops on my part into a destroyed friendship. Pretty good worse case scenario, huh? Teachers always told me to go into writing due to my imagination. All this thinking and feeling can send me into a low fairly quickly too. I need to find the balance - where is that point my mind turns things worse than they are? Something to think about....

Evils of Corporate Life Part 3a - The Re-Org

The announcements came today. Impacted individuals - in some cases entire teams - were told by their leaders today. My VP and her entire team was displaced....except me. I am the lone employee from my original team. There will be new people joining, but we haven't seen those org charts yet.

HR calls is "survivor syndrome." Sounds crazy but I can understand it now. I've been through re-orgs before, but this is the first time I'm the only one left! I really did wonder why me? What did I do to be kept? It makes me sad to know my cube-mate has the added stress of looking for a new job (in company or outside) while her husband is going through chemo. She has enough to worry about. So, why me? I know HR has their little formulas for figuring it out and the SVPs had their say to begin with and, well, it's out of my control.

Then I wonder, how will I get all this work done when the people helping me have been displaced?! Yes, they are all around for the next 6 weeks, but let's be realistic - how much work are they going to concentrate on? I would be concentrating on posting and interviewing myself. It's going to be a long six weeks.......

Training to Save a Life

I decided to accept a challenge - I am training to complete a FULL MARATHON! (that's 26.2 miles by the way). I am in NO way a runner by habit - most I run is across the street. In fact, my dog stopped getting walks in the park! I had become a big time slacker and wanted to do something about it. I needed to find a way to get back in shape but stay motivated.

To do this I joined the American Stroke Association's program called Train to End Stroke (TTES). By joining this program I have two coaches, a team, training schedules, clinics and a reason that makes this more than a personal goal. I am raising funds for stroke research, education and advocacy programs.

Did you know....
Every 45 seconds someone suffers a stroke
Every 3.1 minutes someone dies of a stroke
There are 4.4 million stroke survivors
29% of people who have strokes are under age 65

I didn't know these facts until I helped my friend fundraise for the summer marathon this past June. I met many members of her team - several of which are stroke survivors. I figured - if they can do it, so can I. Many of the summer 2005 team members are now mentors for the winter 2005 team (my team!). I will be running hundreds of miles to prepare. I'm also busy raising thousands of dollars for the American Stroke Association.

This has become a big part of my life. Training 3 times a week with the team and doing things on my off days to strengthen myself. I have support of the team and of my friends and family. I started training Aug 6. It's been one month and I'm already seeing a difference! My first timed mile at that first practice was 14:07. The first Saturday in September was my second timed mile -- 13:15! Almost a whole minute better in just 4 weeks :) I've also met some really great people and am expanding my circle of friends. There are good people on Team Phoenix.

I am blogging about this to not only celebrate the fact I accepted this challenge but to also ask for your support. Support through your good thoughts and, if you wish, contribution to the American Stroke Association. (all contributions are tax-deductible)
my website:honolulu26.2.kintera.org/faf/r.asp?t=4&i=107138&u...

If you'd like to see some of Team Phoenix in action - visit my photo page to see pics from a recent practice (thanks to Zee Desert Rat!). http://www.flickr.com/photos/azbeachbum/

Evils of Corporate Life Part 3 - The Re-Org

What company hasn't had a re-org in the last year? Any? We've had 2 and number 3 is coming next week. Each re-org we hear the same thing -- "we are aligning to the business." Hmm..sounds logical doesn't it? That was re-org #1. They didn't quite accomplish their goal yet.

Re-org #2 was due to a spin off and a new CIO. Seems the new CIO didn't really like the way the old CIO had things. Not too unusual, everyone is different. This one shuffled everyone around. Whew. Maybe now we can settle in and work. Wrong.....

Re-org #3 was announced shortly after #2. Well, not the re-org, but the fact they were going to re-org again!!! Three in one year is a record even for us. This time not only are they going to align to the business but they are going to ensure employees are in the right positions. There's the layoff fear. This announcement of a pending announcement was several months ago.

We are FINALLY going to hear the actual re-org announcement. As the time gets closer, productivity gets smaller and the rumors are bigger. Many employees are extremely stressed out as they fear layoff. Senior leadership is being blasted for putting us in suspense. Now, I'm not defending them, however they are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If the CIO hadn't announced the pending announcement, he would be blasted for not telling anyone. Just one reason why I'm not aiming to be CIO.

Why stress? Is the actual re-org in your control? No. Can't do much except make sure you do good work in your current role. What else is in your control? Your resume. Make sure it's updated so you can do whatever is necessary. My friends are planning a happy hour for the day after. I'll take one bourbon, one scotch and one beer....

Enough said

You are Right, You are Wrong, You are in Perfect Harmony with Yourself!

Yet, more thought about choices

Little did my friend know the discussion we had about baggage played right into my choices theme of the last 24 hours.

Everyone has baggage. How much depends on you and (here it comes) the choice you make of carrying it yourself or letting those who care about you help. That doesn't mean you just transfer your baggage to your friend. It means your friend will help you carry it and either lighten or get rid of it.

We choose how we feel. I'm not denying a bad mood once in a while. It happens -- I think it's called life. We choose whether to stay in that mood or to get out of it. Those who know me know I'm experienced here. I'm getting better at making the right choice.........

More thoughts about choices

I made a choice many years ago to get married. It wasn't the right choice. I ended up hurting myself and him. I'm no longer married.

Did I learn from that choice? Yes. Lots. I became who I am now. What doesn't break me makes me stronger. Well, it made me stronger.

Am I happy now? Essentially, yes. I am enjoying life again. I see my friends and family regularly again. I am doing things I've always wanted to do such as learn guitar and karate. I am challenging myself in ways I wouldn't have tried before such as training for a marathon. So, essentially, yes. Why then not just a resounding "Yes!"? There are still things missing.

Many ask me when I'll get married again. I don't know if I will. Not because I don't want to rather because I don't know if I'll find that person. I know what I'm looking for now. Is that person out there? I know he is.

What do I want? I want someone who....
....I can trust
....loves me for who I am
....I love for who he is
....I enjoy his company
....I can go out with or just stay home
....if we're sitting around bored, that's ok
....I am comfortable with
....respects me
....cares about me and about himself
....cares about family and friends
....wants to enjoy life
....still believes in romance
....makes me smile
....I make smile
....I can laugh with
....makes me want to do anything for him
....fills me with such emotion I feel as if I'll overflow
As the song says: "I want a man who stands beside me, not in front of or behind me...two arms that want to hold me, not own me"

Will find him? or he find me? I don't know. Am I too picky now? No. I tell all my friends to be picky. Make sure that person is who you want to spend your life with.

I am learning to live with the missing piece. There are days when it brings me down however those are appearing less and less. Sometimes I think I missed him while I was married. Doesn't seem fair, but may be true.

Or maybe it's just not time and I still have things to learn. I like that thought more.

Right Choice?

Life is made up of choices. Have I made the right choices? Lately I don't think some were so wise.

The biggest one dragging me down right now is my role at work. Not my company, not the people I work with, but the actual role. When I posted for the position, I was not leaving one I didn't like. I was posting for the opportunity to move to the other side of business -- strategy. I needed to get away from tatical day to day activities. One thing I knew I did not want, at all, was to be a project manager. There is nothing wrong with being a project manager - it's a good job. It's just not me.

Guess what I am? That's right, you win the prize, I am a project manager. Sigh. OK, so I step outside my comfort zone and tell my boss. She understands and is trying to do something. That was a while ago. I have a new boss. He doesn't quite understand - though he's starting to (hmmm, maybe rolling my eyes when he said this is a great opportunity may have been too strong). Is anything done yet? No. Typical corporate red tape -- too many resources, not enough money, wait for the re-org. I've heard them all.

In the meantime, I argue with myself to go to work each day. My boss should really be happy my family raised me right. So I go to work. I feel sad, angry, frustrated, burnt out (getting crispy now), tired (oh, so tired) and demotivated. Do I blame the company? my boss? No. It was my decision, my choice. At least this is one I can do something about. Just got to figure out exactly what to do.

A matter of choice

Immaturity is thinking that you have all the answers. Wisdom is knowing that you don't.

Weakness is wanting to control everything around you. Strength is gracefully accepting and valuing what is.

Insecurity is the constant, gnawing desire to have more and more. Confidence is knowing that you already are enough.

Failure is thinking that you can advance yourself by pushing others down. Success is understanding that the more you lift others up, the more you'll be lifted yourself.

Despair is committing yourself to shallow, superficial things that too soon will wither and die. Joy is filling your world and your life with the things that truly matter.

Every moment, you are fully capable of living with wisdom, strength, confidence, success and joy. It's not a matter of chance, but always a matter of choice.

And you can make the choices now that will surely take you there.

-- Ralph Marston

I've been Spammed in the Comments!

Is it not possible to get away from spam anywhere?? In my last blog "Tired" I noticed a 2nd comment. Cool, I thought, a new comment. It was a SPAM! from mandyjones82912247. She posted a profile for Energy & Asset Technology, Inc. (EGTY). (since deleted from my comment section)

You know what mandyjones82912247 -- feel free to post comments about someone's blog in the comments but post your notices and causes in your OWN blog for others to read and comment.

Tired

So very tired. Brain is tired. Body is tired. Soul is tired.

"She said I`m tired, woke up tired
Life is wearin` me smooth down to the bone
No rest for the weary, ya just move on
I guess you just keep goin` till your gone
Tired, Lord I`m tired "
(Toby Keith/Chuck Cannon)

Evils of Corporate Life Part 2 - Death by PowerPoint

PowerPoint decks. Every company has them. They are like gremlins -- get them wet and they multiply.

Here are pet peeves of decks:
1. Never, ever, ever, EVER read your deck word for word in a presentation. I can read it myself in less time, thank you.
2. Don't put too much information in a deck. More than 10 pages and most people think twice about reading it. Not to mention printing them destroys small trees each time.
3. Don't overload on decks. Not everything is appropriate for a deck. If there are instructions for a process, try a simple Word document or even a checklist.
Think about it -- simple checklist vs 28 page deck....hmmmmm..........
4. Version control!!! Document what version it is on the cover page and the footer. It's great in the file name, however once printed, the file name doesn't do much good.

In November '04 I started a new position. Sadly, I must say, my Director had on her desk a pile of PowerPoints that was at LEAST 2 foot high! This was background information. Sigh. I just recylced at least 10 decks that were sent, printed for meetings (or given at a meeting) that I have not since touched. There are now at least 3 newer versions of most.

There are good uses for a PowerPoint deck. IF done properly. A good PowerPoint that is easy to read (especially when projected on a screen), has enough information to understand & not forget what you're told, but not so much that you overload and can be understood without requiring a presentation can be a great tool.

But, can I please go one week -- just ONE week without having a new deck sent to me!!!!!

Communication Part 2

With all the technology available today, you can't replace human contact. It keeps us real.

When you just can't get together in person, emails are quick, fun and sometimes the only time you have to let someone know you're thinking about them. Letters are better - more personal - however in this day and age of go-go-go who takes the time to sit and write? Cards work too but again the time to go to the store, pick it out, sign it, maybe even write something then address it is too much for many people.

But the phone. Hearing someone's voice is priceless. You can be 2500 miles apart, but hearing that person's voice brings you together. Close your eyes and you can see the person to whom you're talking. With cell phones it's even easier to find time to call people (yes, I admit, I have a headset and hands free dialing for the express purpose of calling people while on the road).

I just got off the phone with one of my closest friends in the world. Since 1993 we've only seen each other 3 times however we stay close by phone calls. Seeing his number on my missed calls (a plus for phone technology) made my day. I called him back and we talked for a while. Caught up on things. He recently lost his father and while yes, I'll send a card, being able to verbally express sympathy means so much more. I could hear the pride in his voice when he talks about his little girl. We can both hear the caring in our voices for each other.

Ah, yes. The phone. Next best thing to being there.

Relaxing in NYC

Sitting in NYC at Yaffa’s enjoying a beer with a friend. The weather is beautiful, the company enjoyable and the environment fun to watch. Yaffa’s is at the corner of Greenwich & Harrison. This area is known as Tribeca to those who know their way around town. (That was my something new learned that day). Many of the buildings here are old and have wonderful architecture inside and out. We sat outside and watched the world around us. People watching is fun in NYC. We saw celebrity look alikes and amazing outfits.
At the next table was a group of women doing the same. As the evening progressed we realized these women knew everyone! Their group was in constant flux as someone would leave, another would join, etc. Everyone who joined was greeted with enthusiastic hellos! True neighborhood bar. That is the way to spend an evening :)
At our table my friend and I caught up on our lives. We hadn't seen each other for 5 years though we keep in touch by phone and email. Being able to sit, have a few beers and just talk made my week. I feel blessed to have friends like him in my life.

NYC - Chinatown

Walking in NYC is the way to go. Especially when your friend's kids want brand name purses. Of course these purses normally cost over $100 - at least. In NYC however you can find street vendors selling the knock offs for $15-20 so we headed to Chinatown on advice of co-workers. We get there and no street vendors however there are those who will lead you to their wares. They stand on the corner: "Purses? You want purses?" then they lead the unsuspecting tourist to make a purchase. The first person to do this made us a bit nervous as the stairwell she wanted us to follow her to didn't look too promising! The second one didn't look as threatening so my friend went up while I waited on the street. Her theory - our cell phones worked and she had hers ready to call me with one touch. Her efforts paid off as she found not only purses for her kids, but one for herself too! Her mistake was telling her mom and she had to repeat the adventure another night :)
We went back to Chinatown to find a place to eat the next night. Finding the restaurant wasn't as adventurous as the purse search however we did get to see the Chinatown markets - definitely an interesting set up! The restaurant was found and food delicious though the service was SLOW. My friend and I decided it was us it seemed everywhere we ate during the week had really slow service JUST for our table. Go figure.....

42 - Ground Zero at night

42 - Ground Zero at night
Originally uploaded by islandbum.

Ground Zero

Today - July 10, 2005 - I arrived in NYC for business. My office is next to Ground Zero.

Today I visited Ground Zero for the first time since that fateful day. Now rebuilding it is still a powerful place. I stood outside my office and remembered. Just stood and remembered…

• Coming through NYC on the way to the Grateful Dead show, playing tourist and going to the top of the WTC Towers
• On that same trip taking the ferry ride to see the NYC skyline
• My first business trip, staying at the Millennium Hilton and walking around the WTC because I didn’t know there was a walkway connecting the hotels to the WTC and into the World Financial Center
• Stopping and standing looking straight up at the Towers amazed at the height
• Finally finding the walkway and enjoying not going out in the rain around the building
• Window shopping in the underground mall and getting good pizza on another business trip
• My friend loaning me his subway pass, taking me to the WTC station and showing me what train to take to get to Brooklyn
• Standing in my office building admiring the WTC Towers
• Standing in my living room and watching the Towers fall
• Wondering if everyone I knew was safe on 9/11
• Praying for the those who were not and their families and friends

Powerful place filled with emotion.

Friends

A friend once wrote: The most love you can give to someone is to be there for them. The hurt you feel shows how much love you gave. He's a very wise friend. This statement is true for all types of relationships. Many people see the word "love" and think it just applies to romantic relationships. Nope, sorry, not that easy. Friendship can be just as painful sometimes.
In my opinion, hurt within a friendship is the most painful. I don't use "friend" too loosely. If I call someone a friend, it means something. I've connected with that person in some way. Now, there are levels of friendship -- I have some friends who I will never lose touch with and some who are here and now (or there and then) only. If something is going on within the friendship and signals are crossed, it causes hurt. Yes, sometimes that hurt is all in one or the other's head. The closer the friend, the harder it is to ask what's going on to clear things up. OK, so that has something to do with conflict management, that's a whole different topic. Admit it - no one likes conflict - especially if in their mind it's worse than reality. Getting past the worse case sceanario in your head is the hardest step.
I've lost friends along the way. It would be nice to say it's all their fault, however, it takes two to have a friendship and it takes two to lose it. I'm not a stupid person. I know these things and have learned much over the years. So why the hell do I write blogs instead of talking to people?! Oh, that's right, conflict .....well, there are 4 categories of conflict management..........

Where thoughts lead

What if all the world could see your every thought? Would you be proud of those thoughts, or would you be embarrassed and ashamed?
In fact, the world can see your thoughts. For your thoughts do surely and eventually make themselves known in the way your life progresses.
If you carry around hateful, angry, cynical and destructive thoughts, those thoughts will infect your life with misfortune, disappointment and emptiness. When most of your thoughts are thankful, loving, creative and joyful, those thoughts will be expressed through your life as success, achievement, and good fortune.
In each moment, you are able to choose your thoughts. And as those moments build on each other, the thoughts you have chosen become clearly apparent in the details of your life.
Your thoughts are yours to create, control and direct. By increasing the positive value of your thoughts, you bring real, positive substance into your world.
Choose thoughts that you'd be pleased for all the world to see. And those thoughts will lead to a life that is impressive indeed.
-- Ralph Marston

More to Be Lived

There are valuable treasures available to you even now, that you have not yet discovered. There are many things that will someday bring richness to your life that you do not yet even know about.
No matter where you have gone, or what you have experienced, there is always much, much more to be lived. No matter what you may have once had and then lost, there is always much more to be gained.
What may seem like an annoying frustration at this time could eventually end up being an abundant blessing. For in each moment as life goes forward, you have the opportunity to make the best of whatever you encounter.
What might feel like weakness can be transformed into strength. What otherwise would hold you back can give you plenty of reason to push forward.
Even when much has been done, there is far, far more that you can do. Whether life has been full or whether it has been sparse up to now, there are countless ways remaining to fill it.
Whatever life may have already been, there is much, much more to be lived. And now is the moment to resolutely begin.
-- Ralph Marston

Communicate

Talking, writing, sign language -- I don't care how you do it, just communicate. I have a friend who was venting how women don't communicate -- don't tell whether they're happy or sad, can't talk about feelings. I have to inform him, it's not just women.

It's not a man / woman thing. It is a relationship thing - family, friend or romantic. If you care about someone, it suddenly becomes difficult to tell that person how you feel.

Think about it -- some stranger cuts in front of you in a line....suddenly your irritation becomes vocal (hopefully that's all). While your best friend or a family memeber does something that annoys you...suddenly you become very quiet. Real friends and family see the difference and wonder what they did or didn't do. Later when your annoyance goes away and you forget about it, they still wonder.

Or, something is really weighing on your mind. How many of us (I admit, I'm guilty of this one) will keep it inside and hope it goes away? Not exactly the best way to deal with things. Those close to us want to help, they want to hear from you.

Communication. Seems so simple until you care about someone. The people you care about are the ones you really need to communicate with.

Thought for the Day

We have the power to to choose preferred futures through a very innovative approach - thinking the unthinkable - rather than having to suffer futures we do not want.

Evils of Corporate Life

It's time for PMP or Performance Management Process for those who don't work at my company. I'm convinced PMP is something evil thought up by top leadership way back when just to torment the employees. Don't ever let them use the same form twice! "They" said. Make as many pieces of paper as possible to complete! "They" said. Very evil indeed.

In my company we do Mid-Years in June and Year Ends in late October/early November (so predict what you’ll do for the last 1 to 1 ½ months and make sure you do it). The PMP process is: fill out your goals, complete your development plan and then condense it all into the mid-year or year end form so someone can claim to read it all. OK, to be fair, I've had leaders who do read it all. Then leadership has alignment meetings to discuss your rating. To really benefit from the alignment process, all leaders in your organization better at least know your name and/or your leader better be able to market you well After being read and aligned, your leader gives you input and the forms are filed away for eternity or until you quit, whichever comes first.

In a perfect world, each employee is keeping track of their goal accomplishment and leadership examples each month. If the employee is thinking, it’s tracked on the correct forms. This is not a perfect world.

Goals. This form has become so ridiculous it's not even funny anymore. On top of a cumbersome form, the goals are fed down from the very top of senior management with each level of in-between adding their piece. By time it gets to me (you know, the worker bee level) the goals, tasks and measures are so convoluted VP areas must have 4-8 hour meetings to figure them out! Hmmm...sounds productive to me. Each quarter we add our accomplishments to "our" form which is fed back up. Now really, do you think the SVP is going to notice MY project submitted the correct forms????? Last year my VP took the team's goal results and added to his leader's goals. I looked at the final form for Q1 while trying to associate Q2 with my department's accomplishments -- not a SINGLE result from my deparment in Q1 was on the form!! So why are we doing this???

Development Plans. The plan is supposed to be mine. Seems like a reasonable thought. My plan for my career. However, you must have it in a special format (again, one that changes every year or so) which is not the most user friendly. Wouldn't it make more sense for my career development plan to be usable by me in a format understood by me?? Go figure - that would make us happy and productive.

And then there are the dreaded Mid-Year and Year-End forms. Some groups go official and use each while some just use the Year End form (at Year End you just copy & paste from the mid-year anyway). How it's filled out depends on your leader. Some want bullet points, some want small novels. How many read it all? Isn't tempting to add something fun in the middle to see if they really pick up on it? Like all those reports we publish....wait, that's another blog :)

Granted keeping track of your development and your accomplishments and having goals is a good thing. Otherwise you just plod along day after day with no direction. However, does it have to be such a cumbersome process? To truly do justice to your PMP, be sure to slot at LEAST 8 hours to do it or hope you have a leader who likes to the point bullet lists!

Thunder!

11:48pm. My dog is whining. Shhhh....I tell her. More whining. Quiet! More whining. Finally a thought penetrates my sleepy brain -- maybe she needs to go out again (she had been sick the other morning). OK, fine. I get up, go to get my glasses and see a flash of lightning. Crap -- she doesn't have to go out, she's just scared of thunder and lightning.

Back to bed. The dog is now whining and shaking - on my pillow! My pillow is not big enough for both of us. Move her off the pillow and next to me. Snuggle up. Nope, not working - she's still whining, still shaking and moving back to my pillow!

I give up. Down to the couch. Maybe downstairs she'll feel farther away from the thunder. Good - Office Space is on AMC. Something to amuse myself with. An hour later, I'm asleep anyway, the thunder seems to have moved on and the dog is quiet. Let's go back to bed.

Ahhh....comfy bed and my pillow is my own. BOOM! Oh great, there she goes again.....maybe she'll go hide in the closet this time :)

A thought for the evening....

"Better to be hated for something you are, than to be loved for something you're not."

Hitting the Wall

Did you ever hit the proverbial wall, hard, face first and get stuck? You know you need to turn around, get a grip and move forward in the next piece of the maze? Sometimes however, you have to peel yourself off the wall and, damn, it hurts. That happened to me recently.

I'm not stupid person. I know life is what I make of it. Sure, some things are out of my control -- say, like the weather or a natural disaster. How I feel, how I react, what choices I make are in MY control. But, you know, when plastered face first into that wall and slowly trying to peel away without losing too much skin, it's hard to remember to stay positive.

When you do turn around and start down the next piece of the maze, it feels good. Knowing you hit a new personal low and still came back is an amazing feeling. Starting over with some new scars and new knowledge about yourself makes you feel empowered.

Many thanks go to my friends who had to put up with me for a week, or two, or so. Especially if I had been drinking! (you know who you are). Friends are also very powerful and my life is richer with you in it.

Enjoy .. Key West Sunset

Sunset 5-27 v6
Originally uploaded by islandbum.

This sunset was enjoyed on May 27 from the pier in Key West.

Finally ...Key West

Ahh….Key West, vacation paradise in the US. There are 4 of us enjoying this week long vacation. Pam and Tom came in from Philly. They flew into Miami, rented a convertible and drove down. This method of arrival is highly recommended by them both. I flew in from Phoenix via Delta (see my airline adventure in the Delta postings). On Tuesday Kerry flew in from Atlanta – she didn’t have quite the adventure I did! Whew, Kerry will help Pam & Tom drink the rum they bought – I had a handle on the beer ;)

The house we rented, Jasmine House, was incredible. Our rooms are nice, there’s a kitchen, living area and backyard at our disposal. The backyard has a hot tub, comfy chairs and a hammock for relaxing evenings. At the end of a long and fun filled day, we relaxed in the hot tub with our drinks. The place was worth every penny.

My first day, we start at Smathers Beach with blue sky, blue water and white sand. We rent beach chairs and rafts for the day and relax. The water is calm enough today to go out to the pylons and float. We all look at each other and say “This sucks” with big grins. It came to be our phrase for the week. Another beach we checked out was Rock Beach. It’s at the Ft Taylor State Park. Rock Beach is aptly named for the rocks and coral along the beach and the outcroppings creating the inlet. The water here was deeper and the outcroppings offered snorkeling opportunity.

Most nights we would head out to catch the sunset. Off to the pier outside the Hyatt Resort we watch Mother Nature paint the sky. Mallory Square and the Pier are the places to watch the sunset from the island. After the sunset, we wander through Mallory Square to join the festivities – performers, artists, crafts and drink. The Cat Man performs at Mallory Square. Even if you don’t like cats, you have to stop to watch. Dominique is as much if not more of the show as the cats! The guy is whacked (in a good way) and just has fun with life. He’s known for his trained house cats and his sayings such as “Hurry up, take your time!” “Back to your seat, stay where you are!” and “You are right, you are wrong, you are in perfect harmony with yourself!” His laugh is infectious; his love of his cats and his show is evident. Fully worth a stop to watch.

Key West Sunsets & Snorkeling

One sunset was watched from a Sebago catamaran on a sunset snorkel & sail. This trip was my first snorkel experience. The Sebago crew was fun. Part of their instructions for snorkeling included to be sure to get back on their boat – the other boats have warm beer and ugly crews! LOL They weren’t exaggerating about the good looking crews on Sebago either ;) Interesting Key West fact – the 2nd largest coral reef of the world is in Key West. We motored out to Rock Key for snorkeling. Pam and I take the long way into the water by going down the ladder (Tom jumped in from the deck). I swim out a bit from the boat and take my first try at snorkeling. At first I couldn’t keep my face in the water more than a few seconds – it felt claustrophobic. I had no fear of sinking, I knew I could breathe but wow, it feels weird at first. For the first 15 – 20 minutes I figured this would be my last time snorkeling too. I was wrong. By the end of the hour I was loving every minute and wishing for more. It was awesome to swim with the fish and watch them in their natural world. At one point a school of Sergeant Major fish were swimming with me! Tom saw a sea turtle and on our sail back a trio of dolphin followed for a bit.

We signed up for a day time snorkeling trip on Sebago after all, the first crew was hot and the beer was cold! ;) This time we went to Sand Key for snorkeling. We saw even more fish this time. Bright sun lights up the world under the sea. We all saw more variety of life in the Sand Key. At one point I looked down and there was a fish as long as me! Talk about an adrenaline rush especially since I didn’t know what it was at first. After the second look to confirm it wasn’t a shark eyeing me up for lunch, I followed it for a bit. I found out later it was a Tarpon fish. At one mesa of reef I saw two schools of fish just hanging out for the longest time. I saw Sergeant Majors, Yellowtails (mmm…sushi), Groupers, and Parrot Fish among others. On the sail back we saw a sea turtle and more dolphins. The snorkeling was awesome, the beer cold and the boat fun. I love being on a boat and soaked it up from the deck both times.

Key West Food & Bars

Duval Street is party central. Bars, restaurants, and stores line the street. So do people and alcohol. One helpful fact is Key West allows drinking in the street as long as it’s not in glass. Woo-hoo! Captain Tony’s was a favorite stop for us. According to Pam, they had the best rum punch. It’s also a hang out for Jimmy Buffett (don’t forget Pam & Tom are Parrot Heads). We didn’t run into Jimmy at all, however Captain Tony was there one day. Look up the definition of ‘dirty old man’ and there will be Captain Tony’s picture. He was a trip! 88 years young and he still flirts with the women and hangs at the bar. Capt Tony’s was the original Sloppy Joe’s. Where is Sloppy Joe’s you ask? It’s down the block. Many years ago, the rent was to be raised by $1 at the original site. The patrons and employees during the evening fun picked up their beers, their chairs and tables and moved to the new site! The bartenders kept on serving. Key West definitely has character :) Another fun spot is Two Friends Patio Bar. We stopped there for food to find out it was karaoke night. Oh boy, we thought we were in trouble. However, it turned into a wonderful night! The singers were all good – well, until I got up there! Pam and I danced and had a blast. We found out we were on their web cam! One place that is worth a stop is B.O.’s Fish Wagon. From a certain angle, you would never know this is a bar! At first glance it does look like a shack about to fall down. And what would a trip to Key West be without a stop in Margaritaville. We ended our Duval Street adventures there on Friday. On the way inside a bride and groom were on the sidewalk. Pam, Kerry and I admired her dress; the bride then asked Kerry if we were looking at her ass! The bride said, it’s ok, it doesn’t matter, we’re in Key West! Oh my!!

My first taste of Conch Fritters was my first night – it is the Conch Republic after all. Conch fritters are similar to hush puppies but with conch inside. What is conch you ask? Know those pretty shells that if big enough one can use as a horn? Well, conch is what lives in those shells. Conch fritters are delicious and addicting! Oh, and Yuengling Lager for drink! Yay – Florida serves Yuengling! :)

Food is not an issue in Key West. Even a food snob can find places to eat here. Restaurants range from fast food to fine dining. If you hate seafood, you still have options. If you like seafood, you’re in a good spot. Grouper and mahi-mahi sandwiches that could feed all 3 of us. Conch fritters every where! Half Shell Raw Bar has the best conch fritters and awesome oysters. Louie’s Backyard is incredible. Most of the seating really is in the backyard on a tiered set of decks leading to the water. We started with a round of drinks on the lower deck bar. Up one deck and we all had the fresh catch of the day – grouper wrapped in proscuitto served over creamy cous cous with red wine basil vinaigrette. For dessert, I had the warm dark chocolate cobbler with white chocolate ice cream. It was heavenly! We finished with another round of drinks on the lower deck.

More Key West

We didn’t spend the entire time baking in the sun, drinking and enjoying sunsets. We stopped at the Hemingway House, Lighthouse and Ft Taylor State Park. I never knew Hemingway had 6 toed cats! I knew he had cats, but with 6 toes?! There are still descendents of those original cats living at Hemingway House. Ft Taylor was a functional military establishment through 4 wars! We also stopped at the Southernmost Point for photo opportunities. Key West is the southernmost city in the continental US. Cuba is only 90 miles away!

Sadly on Saturday we packed up the car and headed to the airport. It made quite a site to see Kerry & me in the back seat of the convertible with our suitcases! Those pictures will be posted once I get them developed. Pam and Tom headed north to Key Largo while Kerry and I headed home. The week was wonderful!!!!!! I’ve started posting pictures already. Keep checking back as I get more developed and Pam & Tom send me theirs.

So, who’s going with me next time? :)

Delta Does It Again

** If you haven't already, scroll down and read "Dela Airlines - Bah" first **

Delta couldn’t possibly screw up again could they? Well, at least I have 2 days before going back to work so if I get delayed or sent to another state, I have time.

Kerry (who lives in Atlanta) and I found an earlier flight out of Key West on Saturday. Not that we wanted to leave at all, however, Key West airport isn’t all that fun to sit around for 4 hours. So, we call Delta and the agent was very friendly, very helpful and changes us to the new earlier flight. Flight changes should be very simple, very basic travel agent 101 type of stuff.

I get to the airport and I look at my boarding pass and baggage claim. Hmmm....my bags are only going to Atlanta. That’s odd. I’m connecting to Phoenix. OK, maybe because my flight is 5 hours after I get to Atlanta I have to recheck. Doesn’t seem normal, but I’m in island mode. Let’s call Delta while killing time and see if I can bump up my Phoenix flight.

Delta Agent, Mya. She sounds bored with her job. I tell her I want to change flight 486 to Phoenix to an earlier flight. I have to explain where I am and what I’m doing twice before she asks what flight I want. Well, I say, you have your schedule in front of you, I don’t – you tell me what’s available. (OK, I’m already getting annoyed with her as she’s the 2nd person on this call I had to talk to). There are 3 flights available, which one would I like and on what day, she asks. What day?? Oh boy, I’m getting scared now. I say – first, tell me what time I arrive from Key West then book me on a flight after that. She asks again what day and do I just need one way. I tell her I live in Phoenix and I want to change flight 486 to an earlier flight. She doesn’t show me on flight 486. WHAT???!!!! It seems the first agent changed my Key West flight and proceeded to cancel my Phoenix connection. Travel Agent 101 – always reconfirm a passenger’s itinerary when making a change. I tell Mya to check the history of the PNR (my record) and find the flight, and then re-book me on ANY of the Phoenix flights. Now she gets it. She puts me on hold for 35 minutes before successfully getting me on a Phoenix flight. She can’t reissue the ticket as I’m in a checked in status in Key West. No problem, I have to get my bag anyway. After a 45 minute phone call (good thing my minutes are free on the weekend) I am now on flight 952 leaving Atlanta at 5:49pm EDT.

I get to Atlanta. Stand in line for 30 minutes and get to talk to a person (wow!) at the counter, Jimmy Z. He starts to look at my record and I explain what’s happened. I also mention I’m starving because I haven’t eaten yet. He starts to look, then looks harder, then talks to another agent, then looks again. He tells me they really screwed up my reservation (go figure) and he’s just making sure everything links together. I tell him some of their agents need to go back to training. He takes 20 minutes and successfully gets me a boarding pass and my record all linked properly so no fees showed up (I already paid the change fee the first time). Jimmy Z was very helpful and even gave me a $7 voucher for food because I was hungry. Now, that’s customer service. First class would’ve been nice, but he gave me what was in his power to give.

I think instead of writing a letter to Delta I’ll just send them a link to this blog!

Delta Airlines - Bah!

Getting ready for vacation. Friday night – midnight, still up so I check my 9am flight. On Time according to Delta’s website.

7am Saturday morning. In the car, heading to the airport my phone rings – caller ID shows an 800 number. That can’t be good. It’s Delta – the flight has been delayed by 1 hour therefore I’ll miss my connection in Atlanta to Key West. And the battle begins…..

Delta Agent #1, Stephanie – she starts out helpful. There are no more Key West flights from Atlanta today. She will be happy to rebook my entire itinerary to leave the next day. Not acceptable – 1. I’m meeting people in Key West and 2. it’s my vacation – I’m not wasting an entire day of it traveling! OK, Stephanie tries to find an alternate flight. She comes back happy because she’s found an America West flight leaving at 9am to Atlanta. She’ll try to book me on this one. America Pest?! That does not instill confidence however I’ll take what I can get. Stephanie’s back – the flight is sold out. Her only other solution is for me to travel the next day or she’ll refund my entire ticket so I can try to find an alternative. Excuse me??!!! I ask if she’ll refund my vacation, the payment for the house and my time. I also inform her – again – that I am currently driving so looking up alternatives would be difficult at that moment. She now has the idea I’m not a happy camper. Finally I tell her I’m almost to the airport I’ll deal with a Delta agent there. And I ask, why is it delayed, what happened in 7 hours? Her notes stated “Crew Rest.”

Delta Agent #2, Kimberly – she starts out irritated. Phone service rule #1 – paste a smile on your face no matter what your mood. Kimberly wasn’t smiling. I’ve come up with my own alternative – what’s the first flight out of Atlanta Sunday morning. I’d rather start from Atlanta than Phoenix and only kill ½ day. Kimberly puts me on hold for 10 minutes and comes back to tell me I can’t even get to Atlanta today. WHAT??!!! It seems Stephanie in her infinite wisdom and experience took me OFF the original Atlanta flight. Kimberly informed me the flight is overbooked and my seat was already given away. She can do nothing for me. Wrong answer. Good bye Kimberly.

OK, can you guess my blood pressure is up by now? It doesn’t help that I started my career booking travel so I know how it’s done.

At the airport I look for a person. No, we’re not allowed to talk to people, please use the black Delta Direct phone. Sigh.

Delta Agent #3, Irene – she starts of friendly and helpful. First I summarize what happened so far stressing the fact I didn’t authorize Stephanie to take me OFF the flight! Irene seems to understand there are notes in the record, gets all the details and gets me back on the original Atlanta flight leaving at 10am. Next, she checks all routes from Phoenix to Key West – through Georgia, North Carolina, Texas, and Florida. Nothing is available. It seems Irene can actually think things through. She pulls up the Atlanta to Key West schedule for Sunday – there’s a flight at 11am. However, she’s determined to get me there earlier. Plus she tries to avoid another weather delay in Atlanta – which, by the way, is what started this whole mess! Irene finds a 9am Orlando to Key West flight – she books it. OK, now to get me to Orlando. A few more minutes and low & behold, I’m booked Atlanta to Orlando. Irene successfully gets me to Key West by 10am Sunday morning. Much better than the alternative of 7pm Sunday night! She also advised to get a discount hotel coupon from an Orlando Delta agent – they won’t comp the hotel as the original cause was weather, however due to the hassles a discount would apply.
Irene wins – she knew how to treat a customer, she tried every avenue she had and she knew how to think outside the screen!

OK. There I sit waiting for the Atlanta flight. I look at my boarding pass. UGH!!! My aisle seat was lost and I’m now in a middle seat. Unbelievable. Sigh.

The plane is boarding. I’m in Zone 8 at the back of the plane. As I get on the plane the first 2/3 is seated. Why in the world would they not load back to front? That’s how it used to work. I was informed on my return trip the zones system was set up to load windows, then middles, then aisle seats; that’s not how it’s working however. Go figure. At least I’m on the plane and heading to the right time zone!

Atlanta airport. Whew – at least I only have one terminal to catch my connecting flight. Have you ever connected in Atlanta pulling into terminal A only to have to go to terminal C?! Not fun!! You get good exercise though. Anyway, I hang in a Starbucks. A beer sounded better, however the bar was full. This airport is freezing!! Penguins could hang out here!! I have no jacket with me and I will NOT buy anything with Atlanta Braves on it! I look again at my boarding pass…..sigh….a window seat. Maybe I’ll get lucky and it’s a 2 – 3 – 2 configuration.

Florida at last!! I get off the plane in Orlando about 9pm EDT. Hmmmm….imagine that, not a single Delta agent to be found. All the counters are dark. So much for my discount coupon. I pick a hotel at random, get my bag, get the shuttle and off I go for a few hours sleep and hopefully some food. I pick the one hotel farthest from the airport and watch as all the restaurants within walking distance of every other hotel go by. Sigh. Ok, I check in and am on the 2nd floor. No elevators. Big sigh. In the room – it’s clean, the TV works and there’s a pizza place that delivers! Settle in and get ready for any Delta surprises in the morning.

May 22 – Sunday. I made it!! The flight was on time, it was smooth and there I am in Key West. Ahhhh……finally vacation truly begins.

Job Challenges

“When it quits being fun – quit.” I’ve read this in a book and heard this from my SVP in a Town Hall meeting he held in Phoenix. I support this philosophy. Why not? Why keep doing something you don’t want to do? This can apply to many areas of life – activities, relationships, work. Don’t get me wrong – try to fix what’s not fun first especially in a relationship or at work.

Sometimes it’s hard to fix what’s not fun. In my situation it’s work right now. It quit being fun a few months ago. I’ve been working many years – part time, full time, whatever. I’ve had to do things I didn’t like or didn’t agree with but lost the battle to not do it. That’s part of a job. But when your entire day becomes doing tasks you just have absolutely no f’ing desire to do therein lays the challenge.

Ok, now you’re saying – well, what do you want to do? Hmm….there is a bigger challenge. I have a college degree in Travel & Tourism Mgmt. Face it, travel is not the industry it once was. There may be some possibilities there – it’s something to research. But do I want to do that either? Don’t know. I’ve been at American Express for 15 years. What do I do? Currently I’m a Project Manager - and it sucks. Nope, that's definately not what I want to do. What else have I done for 15 years? Lots of things. I have one of those resumes with lots of skills, but no one particular thing I claim as my thing to do. A benefit and a negative at a big company.

And honestly, quitting is not really an option at the moment. There are these things called bills. They suck. They don’t seem to want to go away. Oh, to win the lottery, but reality says….pay your bills. Damn responsibility. Why couldn't my parents raise an irresponsible kid? ;) Hmmm…so back to what do I want to do? What would I look for in the want ads? What should I look for at Amex postings?

Aren’t these the questions we’re supposed to ask ourselves when we’re 18 and getting ready to go to college and not when we’re 35 and have dependencies? What the hell was I doing then???? What was I thinking? What was I drinking? Oh, wait, I didn’t drink then – maybe that’s the problem, I didn’t have philosophical discussions to help me make these decisions. I think I need a beer………..

Back to Phoenix -- now my home

I came back to Phoenix May 2. The longest vacation I've had in a long time - 10 whole days! I flew Southwest - my airline of choice these days. Southwest is on time, the employees make the trip fun and they haven't lost my bags yet. :) I am very happy they now have direct flights to Philadelphia; cheapest flights there too.

First, I must mention the remainder of the vacation. Friday night was the rehersal dinner. Amy forgot to warn Karin P about me and I kept her laughing the whole time. Threatened to make her laugh during the wedding too! I got to see Amy's parents, people from high school and a new friend I met last year. Dinner was delicious and for some reason Amy let me and Ed sit near each other - she should know better, we were able to team up and pick on her. Saturday the wedding was wonderful! Except for the rain, everything ran smoothly and everyone had a good time. And I did make Karin P laugh once during the wedding! The limo was a stretch Hummer - brand new; it was the maiden voyage. There were people stopping on Broad Street in Quakertown to take pictures of the limo!

Sunday had beautiful weather. We spent the day at the Sly Fox Brewery Bock Fest 2005. Had some good beer, visited for a while and got outside. Later I got to watch hockey!! The Philadelphia Phantoms (AHL) had come home for Game 6 of Round 1 playoffs. Ahhhh....hockey....I missed it this season! It was a good game overall - most of the excitment was in the 3rd period and we won!

Anyway, I got to Phoenix the next morning, picked up my car and headed to Chandler to pick up my dog. She stays with Mom when I'm away; yes, she's spoiled -- the dog, not Mom. It was a beautiful 80 something degrees, sunny and blue skies. Leaving behind the rain and cold was OK with me. While I don't mind cool weather - jean, jacket weather -- I'm not used to the 30 something degree weather anymore.

Driving to Chandler I noticed the layout of the land more this time. Big difference than my hometown area. The streets are wider, sub-divisions plenty and grocery store and/or gas station on almost every corner. South Chandler still has open fields and a dairy farm or two, but even they are showing signs of development. The country feel isn't there; more city or smaller town feel to the area.

Don't get me wrong, there are still beautiful areas, but it's just not the same. Unlike Ed thinks, Arizona is not all arid desert land. Granted, Phoenix was pretty much desert and some farmland before the expansion of the valley took over. Now it's grassy and developed. I still haven't figured out why people insist on putting in grass -- it's too damn hot to mow in the summer! Outside the city - north or south - you can get to beautiful areas. Mountains, National Parks, forests and lakes surround the Phoenix valley. The desert is beautiful in its own way. Yes, there are some desert areas that are nothing but flat, dusty and dirty. There are others where the desert vegetation is plenty, it's not just flat and well, it's always dusty.

Back to my townhouse with my dog. She and the cats are happy to see me. I like my townhouse and my complex. It's quiet and I can walk to the grocery store, Starbucks, PetSmart and Blockbuster. I'm near my office (for now - that'll be another post!) and close to my friends here. Overall I'm pretty adaptable though I see myself eventually in a small town, with some yard around my house where I have to drive at least 10 minutes to the grocery store :)

Being Home

Driving around yesterday two thoughts kept coming to me - first, the phrase "that's just not right" appeared after seeing several major changes in the area, second, I admit I miss the small town, country feel.

Major changes to the home town. It has been 12 years since I lived here, and change is constant, change is good, etc. It's just weird to see a Lowe's where a horse farm used to be. Or my elementary school is now a Christian Academy and North Coventry Elementary has a brand new building & location. Meadow Brook Dairy's old freezer is now a country/antique knick knack shop. The high school has additions and the fields are nicer than before. Just weird stuff. It's all good and obviously more of a shock when you don't live here anymore.

Back roads. I grew up on these back roads. Twisty, hilly, narrow - just plain fun to drive (unless it snowed). Last night I made the determination that a "major" back road means there is a middle line painted. :) Don't ever expect side markings to be painted -- those are called ditches. I borrowed Pam's car yesterday to drive around and take some pictures. It felt like I had never left. It's nice to drive and have nothing but trees or fields on either side.

The architecture is more fun here too. Well, any older town has more diverse architecture - especially in the houses. Around here there are alot of old farm houses. A new development sticks out with the cookie cutter houses, aluminum siding, etc. Though, the houses aren't as cookie cutter as in Arizona. I'd have to have money to maintain an older house if I ever live here again; the outside architecture is one thing however I love the layouts too. The older houses are just different.

Yep, I could live in a small town again.

Going home....

I'm on vacation this week. That's why I have time to set this up and keep typing. Some people would say I didn't really go on vacation because I came home to Pennsylvania. Those people think to be on vacation means going somewhere exotic or somewhere new. I think going on vacation means not going to work everyday and relaxing. So here I am.

I have come home. Though I wasn't born here, I lived here for 17 years. It's home to me. There are many times I miss it. Home is Pottstown, Pennsylvania, 30 miles west of Philadelphia, very rural still. It's green, has windy roads, houses are more than 15 feet away from each other with no 6 ft concrete walls, fields still dot the landscape, the power plant still fills the sky with steam clouds, it’s laid back, beer & liquor aren't sold in grocery stores, you have to drive to find a Starbucks, 'going to the store' means AT LEAST a 10 minute drive, going to a club means going to King of Prussia or Reading possibly to Philly, neighborhood or 'hole in the wall' bars are abundant, and you're an Eagles fan.

I look forward to many things when I come home. First and foremost seeing friends. I went to high school with most of these friends. We survived OJR and the last 20 years we've known each other. We're still there for each other.
Pam and Tom - my beach buddies and my favorite Parrot Heads. They got married last year in Barbados -- I was in the wedding (remind me to tell you how long it takes to get to Barbados from PHX). They are wonderful people. Pam and I became friends 20 years ago this fall. We're both crazy enough to understand each other. Our beach trip this year is Key West.
Cindy - my other beach buddy and dancing buddy. She bought her house last year. It was a long, long process but she wanted this house for a long time. It was the house of another friend and perfect for her. We were in the same class, friends in high school, but close friends after college. She's coming to visit me in October! Look out Phoenix!!! ;)
Joe and Debbie - my TV buddies (both work for local stations (network or cable) here). I've known Joe since I was a freshman. He borrowed a quarter from my mom after a football game to get a ride home. He got me to audition for a play my sophomore year -- that took me out of my comfort zone! I didn't get the part however started working backstage and by time I was a senior I was producing the plays. Oh, and Joe's my good friend who came home from college to go to my prom! I get to meet their baby girl this trip.
Rob - my volleyball buddy. He and I knew each other in high school but didn't really talk much. After college we renewed our acquaintance via his weekly volleyball games. They were games for anyone and everyone who showed up to play. A few more years went by with little contact, then one trip home we started talking again. This time we went past acquaintance and created a friendship.
Jon - my Meadowbrook buddy. We became friends working at Meadowbrook Dairy. We've had some long strange trips (June 1991, Meadowlands, Grateful Dead -- need I say more?) and have survived them all.
Amy & Mike - my Monkees' buddy. Amy and I have been friends since I was a freshman. Her parents were band chaperons and we met after a game when my parents met the chaperons for dinner. We bonded instantly over having moms who just couldn't stop talking. Amy and Mike are getting married this week! I'm in the wedding - that's the original reason I booked this trip. Hmmmm....should have brought some of those high school band trip pics to put up at the reception.
Dolores - my Outsiders buddy. We've known each other since jr. high. We've been through good times and bad. And alot of crazy times too. The girl is always on the go somewhere. I can't keep up with her! She bought her first house recently too - moving on up!
And then there are the friends not living in town -- Beth and I were roommates in college. She's now in Hershey, married with a beautiful girl and a baby due any day now! One of these trips we will get together - I still have to meet the family! Craig and Amy are in York Springs. Craig and I also had many long strange trips -- December 1991, Washington DC, Amex Xmas party - we viewed the sights at 1am! S.Scott & Andrea are in Brooklyn. S.Scott and I worked at the Fox movie theatre way back when. He's taught me much about life, individuality and how to enjoy each day. They too have a baby girl I need to get to NY to see.

Besides friends, I like to drive by the house I grew up in. Then I get Meadowbrook ice cream and a stop at Parma Pizza is in order. Have to drive around, enjoy the landscape and see the changes. Go past the high school to see how different it is now. A stop at St Peters Village to sit on the restaurant deck and enjoy a drink or go play on the rocks. If there's time, I visit the King of Prussia mall and get lost. A side trip to Amish country is fun too -- it's good to be reminded of simpler times.

This trip I'm going on a shopping excursion to Kohls. Is this a store not in Arizona you ask? No, I visit Kohls frequently in Phoenix. Why then would I take time to visit Kohls here you ask? Because PA doesn't have sales tax on clothing! Now I realize why visitors always go shopping when the come here. I have room in my suitcases......

Normally the weather in PA in April is nice. Spring comes and it sits in the 60's. Normally I could wear shorts and a sweatshirt or jeans and short sleeves. BUT, not this trip. It's freakin' cold this week!! It's supposed to warm up later in the week, but right now it's 40 something and windy which makes it feel 30 something. Brrrrrrrr.......

This vacation is starting out right. A good flight. A get together at Cindy's house with almost everyone listed above. And now a relaxing Monday afternoon. Wow, "relaxing" and "Monday" in the same thought. We'll see where the rest of the week goes.

Airplane thoughts

The other night a very good friend told me I'm bitter. I didn't like hearing that. Especially because I feel I try not to be. Everyone can be bitter at times, usually right after something stupid happens in his or her life. The key is to not retain that bitterness. But it seems I've retained the bitterness. My friend will be providing me more feedback on this topic -- he just doesn't know it yet. I want to fix it. In the meantime, I had a 4-hour plane ride to think about life.

There are many milestones in life such as the obvious ones like birthdays (16, 21, 30, etc), graduations, marriage, births, deaths, and so on. My parents divorced when I was 7; I was part of the "latch key" generation. I was married in 1995. My stepfather died in 1994, his father soon after, my maternal grandfather in 1996, my paternal grandmother in 2002 and maternal grandmother in 2003. I remember my 16th birthday fondly, my 21st birthday was not what you're thinking (but not bad!), my 30th was spent moving into my first house, and my 35th was spent with wonderful friends at a party hosted by my best friend. High school graduation was bittersweet. College graduation came too soon (2 year degree). This year will mark 15 years with American Express.

Then there are the not so obvious ones such as the day or moment when you have a revelation and make a change in your life. I finally decided to live my life to be happy, not to satisfy everyone else. Imagine that, taking care of me. Sadly, this revelation led to a not so happy milestone.... divorce. A book I'm reading gives the statement "it is better to have a good divorce than a bad marriage." Some of you reading this may not agree and we can discuss points of view if you'd like. However, having now lived through my own and being a child of divorced parents, I now totally understand that statement.

That was a year ago. Over the last year I've had a "metamorphosis" as I was told last night. My friends tell me I look good, am more confident and am stronger than I was before. (I have good friends :)) The metamorphosis statement comes from the things I do now -- some new, some old just with more availability. Things like: traveling more often, going to the beach, planning visits with my family, drinking beer, and eating sushi! A few friends of many years fell over when I told them I like beer and sushi. This comes from one who cringed at the smell of beer and thought anything that swam should not be eaten. I've also made some new friends and strengthened some old friendships.

Many years ago, S.Scott told me "college is the Pause button on the VCR of life." I think I hit Pause back then and the VCR ate the tape. I've moved on to a DVD.... it may be a bit scratched but it still plays.

Ok, got this far....

Now I'll have to sit down and type. First I have to go warm up -- it's freakin' cold in Pennsylvania today!